New Blog

blog image

If it's not a yes, it's a no.

February 08, 20244 min read

The Empowerment of Authenticity: Saying Yes When You Mean Yes, and No When You Mean No.

In a world where society's expectations often pressure us to say "yes" even when we mean "no," the empowerment of authenticity is powerful. How many times have we found ourselves saying, "maybe," "possibly," or "I think so" when our hearts, our intuition, our soul self is silently shouting "noooooo"? How many opportunities for genuine connection and growth have we missed by not confidently saying "yes" when we truly mean it? It works both ways you see. Saying yes when we mean no, saying no when we mean yes.

The Culture of People-Pleasing

The tendency to say "yes" when we mean "no" can stem from various sources, including a desire to please others, fear of conflict or rejection, or simply a lack of awareness of our own boundaries and priorities. From a young age, many of us are taught that saying "yes" is polite and accommodating, while saying "no" is selfish or rude. Consequently, we may act out of the overloaded files in the subconscious filing cabinet, for not wanting to be seen as demanding or upset the apple cart!

The Cost of Insincerity

However, the cost of this insincerity can be significant, on all levels. Physically, we lose connection with our soul self, to that part of us who has all of the answers. Mentally and emotionally, we are simply saying yes and no, not taking into account the resentment, guilt, annoyance we may feel towards others and ourselves. Energetically we are contradicting ourselves, sending out a misaligned energy message. This can be felt by the recipient and impact on relationships.

Continuously saying "yes" to others' demands or invitations, while inwardly resenting the commitments we've made, can lead to burnout, resentment, and a sense of disconnection from our soul self. Moreover, when we continually agree to things we don't genuinely want or believe in, we compromise our integrity and diminish the trust others place in us.

The Liberation of Authentic Expression

Yet, there is immense power in embracing authenticity and reclaiming our ability to say "yes" when we mean it, and "no" when we mean it. When we honour our true desires and boundaries, we cultivate a deeper sense of self-respect and self-trust. We invite genuine connections with others based on mutual understanding and respect, rather than on superficial agreements or obligations.

Cultivating Clarity and Confidence

Learning to share our genuine desires from societal expectations or fear-based impulses requires self-awareness, practise and consistency. It involves tuning into our intuition, acknowledging our feelings without judgment, and learning to trust ourselves. Creating clarity around our values, priorities, and boundaries, we empower ourselves to express them confidently and authentically.

The Art of Saying "Yes" and "No"

Saying "yes" when we mean it becomes an act of genuine enthusiasm and commitment, enriching our experiences and relationships. Conversely, saying "no" when we mean it becomes an act of self-care and self-respect, preserving our time, energy, and well-being. Both "yes" and "no” are valuable expressions of ourself, deserving of equal respect and consideration.

Conclusion: Embracing Empowerment Through Authenticity

In a world that often encourages conformity and people-pleasing, the courage to say "yes" when we mean yes, and "no" when we mean no, is a beautiful act of self-empowerment. It is a declaration of our commitment to living authentically, honouring our truth, and nurturing genuine connections with others. As we embrace authenticity in our words and actions, we pave the way for a more fulfilling and empowered way of being in the world.

So, what next?

It all reads great in theory doesn’t it? How about when the kids are asking for something? The stressed partner making an unconsidered demand? The best friend who isn’t ready to accept a no to an invitation. The list is endless.

  1. Start small. Become aware. When are we saying yes, when are we saying no. Is there a common pattern or theme.

  2. Pause. Take a breath.

  3. Recognise the words we might use instead of no. Maybe, perhaps, possibly, I think, but. What are our most used no’s in disguise?

  4. Commit to the first response that comes up, notice where it is in your body. Do this before the safety brain comes into play.

  5. Repeat, repeat, repeat until our aligned response comes naturally.

  6. Enjoy and celebrate the freedom that comes with our authenticity.

  7. Remember we are only ever responsible for what we think, do and say. Everything else is out of our control.


Lynn Butler

Back to Blog

my Approach

My approach to support you is rooted in empathy, trust, and a deep understanding of human potential. I believe that everyone has all of their answers within. These answers are waiting to be connected to. Whether you're seeking reconnection, a defined identity or simply relaxation,

I'm here to help you achieve your goals.


Holistic Coaching

I support professional mid-life women, like you, to create and connect with your identity after experiencing a significant life change or loss.

A life change that has left you feeling lost, alone, disconnected and anxious about your future direction in life.

Unsure as to how move forward, I will guide and support you to reconnect with your soul self, support you to define your identity and create the first steps on your re-imagined life path.

Holistic Therapies

Are you looking for some serious relaxation time?

Physical, mental or emotional support?

In person I offer Reflexology, Facial Reflexology & Energy Healing (Reiki and Seichem)

Women's Health Specialist

Ultimate Relaxation

Increased Self Belief, Confidence & Esteem

Reduced Stress & Anxiety

Improved Sleep

Balanced Hormones

Fertility & Maternity Support

Reduced Physical Aches and Pains

Group Coaching

An empowering journey for mid-life professional women, who have experienced loss or a significant life change. Navigating an unfamiliar way of being, possibly with a lack of identity an confidence, feeling lost, stuck, directionless.

Loss presents in so many ways. Simply recognising what we’re currently experiencing as loss, is empowering in itself. When our identity is changed through circumstance or choice, we may lose familiar parts of ourself. Life feels different, complicated, stressful.

If this sounds like you and you are looking to reconnect with yourself on a deeper level, find that spark for life, get fire in your belly, live with less stress and more direction.

The next group program starts March.

Come join us.


Wellbeing Retreats

Vision Board Workshops

Meflexology Relaxation Classes

Facial Reflexology Self Empowerment Classes

I've got you covered.

Online Courses

Coming Soon


Which session do I book?

If you know which in person session you would like to book, simply choose that in the online calendar at the top of the page. Selecting your preferred date and time.

In person sessions are available in 120, 90 or 45 minute blocks of time.

For an initial session or if we've not worked together in the past 6 months please choose 90 Minutes to include a consultation.

Reflexology | Facial Reflexology | Energy Healing (Reiki & Seichem)

If you are unsure, I would be happy to guide you. Book in for a free discovery call so that I can learn more about what is happening and not happening for you right now.

Who are you registered with - I can claim on my health insurance?

I am trained and affiliated with the Association of Reflexologists (AOR), the UK's largest governing body. My membership number is 22549.

EFT and Matrix Reimprinting, I am with the EFTRRA EFT and Matrix Reimprinting Academy.

What is the difference between foot and facial reflexology?

Reflexology is a beautiful therapy whereby the whole body is mapped out over the feet, hands, face, head and ears. Typically known as a treatment applied to the feet.The most relaxing treatment you could ever receive, according to my clients.

The feet feedback as to what’s going on with the whole body health. This can be through the temperature, skin texture, colouration or dryness. The aim of a treatment is to gently encourage whole body healing through sedation, stimulation and balancing of each reflex point.Encouraging the body to return to its most healthy, balanced and vibrant self - homeostasis.

Facial Reflexology Although not as well known as Foot Reflexology, equally as wonderful. The main difference between the two is that Facial Reflexology uses a minimum of 7 'maps' with over 100 specific protocols, depending on the requirement of the treatment.

Amazing for supporting neurological conditions as we are working so close to the brain.

There are side effects with this treatment - radiant glow, lymph drainage to reduce puffiness, muscle toning and increased collagen production!

Many clients enjoy alternating foot and facial reflexology sessions or enjoying a longer session whereby we can incorporate both.

Clients have experienced:

Ultimate Relaxation

Increased Self Belief,

Confidence & Esteem

Reduced Stress & AnxietyI

mproved Sleep

Balanced Hormones

Fertility & Maternity Support

Reduced Physical Aches and Pains

I am pregnant, can I be treated?

Absolutely! I have trained in Fertility, Maternity and Reproductive Reflexology and love supporting both you and your baby. Client choice may be to come after 12 weeks, although I am happy and confident to work with you at any stage of pregnancy.

Do you offer remote reiki or energy healing?

Yes! Reiki and Seichem are universal energies that can be sent over the 'airwaves'.

No travel or parking to worry about. Choose a 45 Minutes session, I will be in touch to discuss if you would prefer fully remote (no technology or via video call).

Do you offer block bookings?

Indeed. Similar to going to a gym, whatever we do consistently will always yield better results. Sessions can be bought singularly but if you are ready to commit to regular you time, I offer a 12 session package. This is valid for 12 months from purchase.

2-4 Abbeydale Rd S, Sheffield S7 2QN, UK